Annual retreat: St. Mary’s Abbey

My initial plan was to return to Loyola Jesuit Center in Morristown, NJ because of my wonderful experience in 2021. But my provincial, Fr. Jim Walther, OMV, suggested St. Mary’s Abbey on the other side of town. The dates of my retreat were May 30 to June 6, 2022.

I don’t regret making the change. Br. Kieran Sheik, OSB, the guestmaster, lived out St. Benedict’s call to be hospitable to visitors. He showed me around the public areas of the monastery and Delbarton School and introduced me to various workers. He made sure that the prayer books were set up for me.

This photo captures only half of my room at the Vincent House at St. Mary’s Abbey in Morristown, N.J. There was another bed on the other side of the wall.
The bathroom attached to my room in the Vincent House had modern fixtures such as rain shower head and a hose attachment in the shower.
The view from the biggest window in my room at the Vincent House captures the parking lot and the orchard across the street.

I lucked out in accommodations. During the lockdown, the monks gutted and rebuilt the Vincent House with modern amenities. My room had such a large floor space that I could have spent my entire retreat there. The bathroom had a rain shower head and hose attachment. Although the air conditioning was great, the cooler temperatures allowed me to leave my window open during the retreat.

Usually, monasteries maintain separate areas between guests and monks for Mass, Liturgy of the Hours and meals. But because I was a religious, the monks allowed me to sit with them in the choir for Mass and Liturgy of the Hours. My meals were with them in their refectory. Some monks chatted with me while others gave me space. I didn’t mind either situation. There were enough times of silence for me.

The chapel at St. Mary’s Abbey in Morristown, N.J., has the choir behind the altar. If you’re looking for the tabernacle, look to the left for the corridor to the Blessed Sacrament chapel.

The monastery provided enough options for my dietary needs. My favorite was the egg ordering sheet for breakfast. One circles the type of eggs with additional instructions for the kitchen. At first, I asked for no butter with my scrambled eggs. Then, I began to add vegetables to the point where the list became “tomato, onion and (spinach or bell peppers).”

Since the Benedictines provided only a place to stay, I relied on my spiritual director to direct my retreat through FaceTime. We met every other evening and her advice proved crucial at various moments.

There are many graces to unpack from the retreat. But I can share the two biggest graces. First was the call to express courageously my identity as a religious brother. I made a point to wear my habit at liturgical functions and the following meals. Maybe that opened the door to allow me to sit with the monks at meals. Second was more trust in the Blessed Virgin Mary to take care of me. Throughout the return, I saw little trinkets of her presence. For example, a walk around the athletic fields turned up a baseball, which became a bedtime present for Vito, Fr. Peter Gojuk’s African gray parrot.

The mornings were amazing at St. Mary’s Abbey in Morristown, N.J.
During, the lockdown, the monks gutted and rebuilt the Vincent House with modern amenities. Guests for individual retreats stay here.
The apples were tiny when I walked through the orchard at St. Mary’s Abbey in Morristown, N.J.
The abbey cemetery was beautiful, but the bugs chased me away.
It tells you something when you need this sign to find your way around St. Mary’s Abbey and Delbarton School.
The science wing of Delbarton School.
A panoramic shot of Delbarton School and the Italian gardens.
This Italian garden was built by the original owner Luther Kountze in the late 19th century.
This statue caught my attention during my morning walk around the Italian garden at Delbarton School in Morristown, N.J.
A clash of culture with Roman statue and foosball table was from the senior prom at Delbarton School.
Old Main was the summer home of Luther Kountze in the late 19th century. It would be the home of Delbarton School.
This path led from 40 Acres athletic fields to the South Gate fields at Delbarton School in Morristown, N.J.

During the weekend, I walked often around Delbarton School. The cool temperatures, early morning light and beautiful building and grounds created a peaceful atmosphere.

I would recommend the abbey for two types of people: first, those who need only online or no retreat direction, and second, those who need a few days to be with the Lord, but do not want the total silence of a retreat house.

Check out the abbey. Maybe you find yourself loving the grounds, the monks and the eggs.

God bless.